Is He Cheating On You?

Read about the signs that can tell you whether your partner's cheating on you.

 

Has your partner become cold and alienated? (jlp)

No matter how we define it, cheating usually isn't something that happens overnight. Something is afoot for a long time, and its possibility slowly becomes more real, until it one day actually happens. The person who has been cheated on will frequently realise in hindsight that there were some signs there which could have told them what was about to happen and which he or she overlooked. Read about certain changes in your relationship which can signal you that your partner's cheating on you or that he's dangerously close to doing just that. This doesn't mean that the "signs" we mention will unconditionally reveal his cheating, but if you recognise them as familiar, it's about time to talk to him.

He often mentions "her"

Your partner has started to frequently talk about his new co-worker Suzanne ... Her name is constantly mentioned, it turns up in every conversation you have. This doesn't mean that you should start to interrogate him each time he mentions a female friend of his, but beware if he sticks to one and the same name and uses it in conversations about intimate subjects. For example, if you discuss his excessive sweating and he mentions that Suzanne suggested doing this and that, this is a sign that their talking goes on on a very intimate level and that they're perhaps also doing other, similarly intimate things together.

Have you started to have quarrels over banalities? (jlp)

He lets you have enormous amounts of free time

You should be alarmed if your partner used to demand from you to spend every free minute of your time with him, while now he takes huge amounts of time for himself. He also resolutely encourages you to have girls' night out, while he used to be upset every time you went for a drink with a friend.

He's looking for reasons to quarrel

Was he all sweet and mild until recently, but now he has turned into a real quarreller? Does he create quarrels out of thin air? Quarrels that seem to be founded on petty reasons - for example, because you've bought one brand of the toilet paper instead of some other? He might be stressed out because of his job, but the reason for his seeking arguments with you could be his need to get something off his conscience, namely his cheating on you. If you respond to his looking for quarrels and you start having fights, if you yell at him or even call him names, he won't feel as bad cheating on you, that is not as bad as if you were endlessly nice to him, patient, compliant and thoughtful.

Does he shudder at your touch? (jlp)

He has become mysterious

You used to have a very sincere and honest relationship and you shared practically everything. For almost every moment of the day you knew whom he was with and where, but now he doesn't answer your calls for several hours, and when he arrives home, he offers you shady replies. Even though such behaviour shouldn't be a reason for your excessive jealousy and interrogations, watch out for a pattern that goes on for a long time and begins to endlessly repeat itself.

There is more gentleness or there is less gentleness in your relationship

Any change in his showing gentleness to you can warn you that there may be another woman in his life. The gentleness he demonstrates can be either more present or less present than it used to be. If he suddenly showers you with affection and he's willing to do anything for you, he may be doing that out of a feeling of guilt - because he's cheating on you. On the other hand, if being with another woman has alienated him from you to the extent that he cannot bear being close to you, he will avoid touching you.

All the changes that may appear in the behaviour of your significant other that we've just mentioned of course aren't absolute signs of him cheating on you. So don't attack him with all your wrath and definitive, heavy accusations. Instead, talk to your partner, calmly and openly, tell him about all the things you've observed that bother you and make you wonder whether he's cheating on you. Tell him about your doubts.

If it turns out he is cheating on you, keep in mind that cheating is often the result of deeper lying reasons, and it's important you take your time to excavate them. In this pursuit, verbal violence won't get you very far.

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